With 3 kids, 2 boys and a girl, all at different ages and stages in their lives, I have learned A LOT! I have a Senior in high school, a middle schooler, and one in diapers who is just learning to crawl. Let me tell you, the phrase “been there done that” takes on a whole new meaning when you have kids…
I used to think that as a Mom, I had to be perfect. I had to make sure the kids were always on their best behavior, they were always wearing clean clothes, they always had their hair brushed, etc. Don’t get me wrong, I was never extremely obsessed with these things, but I did; however, let myself feel guilty and ashamed if I wasn’t always on top of it all.
Why? Why do we beat ourselves up over every little thing and think we are letting our kids down if they are wearing clothes that don’t match or they ate cereal for supper tonight? It’s ridiculous!
I AM NOT SUPERWOMAN! MOMS MATTER TOO!
I like to think I am, haha, but I know that I am not. I cannot do it all. I cannot control it all. I cannot expect myself to be able to either!
I cannot work all day, take care of the baby all afternoon, and expect myself to stay up all night waiting on my 18yr old to get home safe! Sorry, but no. The TV shows aren’t real. We don’t all have the luxury of sitting around in a chair all night by the front door worrying and waiting. Nope! Some of us have to be up at 4am the next morning for work and know that within the year, this kid isn’t going to live here anymore anyway. It’s time to get used to him being out late and gone overnight. If he thinks he’s grown, let him be. I know I have taught him all that I can since the day he was born. There’s nothing else I can say or do that will make him a different person now.
I cannot wait around all night for my pre-teen to fall asleep before I go to bed! I get so tired of people who love to tell you that you should make your kids go to bed by a certain time. All I can do is laugh at them. Sure! I can put her to bed by 9. Does that mean she will go to sleep then? Hell no! She could be up for hours after that. Am I going to sit around and wait for her to fall asleep before I take myself to bed, knowing I have to be up early the next morning for work and the baby will have me up at least twice after I fall asleep tonight? Nope! I won’t torture myself like that. She will fall asleep when she falls asleep and if she doesn’t get enough sleep, she will pay for it the next day, not me. One way or another, she will learn her lesson.
I cannot bathe the baby every single stinking night! When you work all day, come home and have to feed the kids and prepare for the next day in addition to taking one to gymnastics for 4 hours or go to the other’s baseball game until 9pm at night, coming home and bathing the baby every night, becomes impossible. That’s what they make baby wipes for! Yep!! When he is dirty, he gets cleaned, one way or another. It doesn’t always require a tub of water either.
I can’t and don’t cook every night. Hell, I hardly ever do the cooking anyway. My husband is the cook around here and he cooks when he has time. If he doesn’t have time, guess what? Leftovers, frozen dinners, or take out work just fine! We have more home-cooked meals around here than anything else, but if home-cooked doesn’t work today I don’t stress out over it. It’s not worth stressing out over. There are so many other options.
Hair? Haha! If my pre-teen doesn’t brush her hair, she is the one who looks crazy today, not me.
Clothes? Once a week! Yep, you heard me. I wash clothes on the weekends! If they don’t get their clothes in the dirty clothesbasket by then, they are gonna wear them dirty. I wash my own clothes once a week too. News flash – no one really gives a damn what you are wearing and sure as heck never notices how often you wear it! Haha!
There comes a point in life when you have to step back and realize that not everything is worth getting stressed out about or losing your temper about. The more you stress, the more you suffer. Is it really worth that?
I like to pick my battles and quite frankly, there aren’t many things I feel deserve a battle anymore. I choose to enjoy the moments instead and be thankful for the craziness that is my life.
Next time you start to beat yourself up over something, think about why you care. Is it because society has made you believe that it matters, or does it really matter to you that your kid didn’t brush her hair today? Why does that really matter? Honestly, if she likes the way it looks then let her be. In the long run, it doesn’t hurt anyone.
Moms, remember, choose your battles! You matter too!